Shuffle Master Gifts

'Michael likes to keep his iPod on shuffle.'

"Tommy!"

"An everything Martini, please."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work, I overslept.'

The Perfect Cannonball

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

A mother drives a mini-van full of kids; her bumper sticker reads "I'd rather be working".

'Good to see you back at work.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

Just Stop Oil Painting

"Oh, yes, now I remember. We spoke at the company picnic."

'Needs more challenge.'

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

"Careful, underneath that layer of snow there's a layer of confusion."

'Don't be a sissy - It's not that cold!'

Consoles.

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

Shuffle Shame

the Carpenters greatest hits...

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

A jogger being bombarded by tiny battleships in a pond.

"Haven't you heard! There's going to be a bit of a reshuffle!"

I love badminton.

Momco