Mash Master Gifts

'For the record I find creamed asparagus evil too.'

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"An everything Martini, please."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Untidy bedroom

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

Just Stop Oil Painting

"You have to fly me up there! I'm the only one who can help Godzilla with his form!"

'Can I help it if I was given TWO left feet?'

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"