Mix-up Master Gifts

"I think there's been a clerical error!"

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"An everything Martini, please."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Just Stop Oil Painting

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

"Oh, yes, now I remember. We spoke at the company picnic."

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

'I'm just not sure he fits in.'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

the Carpenters greatest hits...

"...and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!"

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'I convinced her that good behavior is a stealth tactic that'll help her reach her goal to one day rule the world.'

"As for you, Cheetah, I don't want any of your monkey business!"

Goldfish Practical Joke: 'Flush me!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

I love badminton.