Showperson T-Shirts

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'I'm a star!'

Hollywood producer.

Toenail clipping missile.

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

TV Situations vacant.

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"Fashion Week"

TV stage door

"Er. . . anything else?"

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

No Talent Agency

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

Stage producer.

"It also doubles as a karaoke machine."

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'We've decided to babysit for you, while you go out to a late-night show.'

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

Jerry's dancing dogs

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

Magic Accident

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'