Shotgun Shenanigans Gifts

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

The Jerry Scarer

'ok, who threw that?'

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Jill, you didn't use this volumising shampoo when you washed the dog did you?"

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

Not at all O.K. Corral

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

The invention of baseball.

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Are you crazy? -- up here, water balloons are lethal!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Marshal Hickory BIll makes the first Wild West faux pas.

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

Man riding a fish

'Hot! Hot!'

'I demand a second opinion!'