Shotgun Shenanigans Gifts

Carol was the first member of her skeet-shooting team to get married.

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Mum, I got the job!"

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

The Jerry Scarer

'ok, who threw that?'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"Jill, you didn't use this volumising shampoo when you washed the dog did you?"

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Not at all O.K. Corral

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

"And you say you've been erect for over 4 hours?"

The invention of baseball.

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Are you crazy? -- up here, water balloons are lethal!'

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Marshal Hickory BIll makes the first Wild West faux pas.

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Hot! Hot!'

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'

Man riding a fish