Shortcut Enthusiast Gifts

'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'

"I think we could work very well together."

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'Well, I'm a barber at a military base and vehemently disagree!'

"Would you read this self-help book to me?"

"You want some words of wisdom? Next time, take the elevator!"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

Hollywood producer.

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Organ transport team

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

Write a Screenplay

Man taking a shortcut to centre of a maze

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

"Oh, pardon me. That's not the menu , that's my screenplay."

'I'm writing a screenplay that every studio in Hollywood will want to produce. It's about an honest, hard-working, moral CEO.'

This is the shortcut!

Christopher Fry.

'Nah! He's not my type.'

Al Pacino

'Whatever you do, don't push: 'control', 'alt;, 'anvil'.'

Dustin Lance Black

'Reckless Rick has already lost three matches this year, but rumor has it that he's looking for a new writer...'

Casting for Heroes series II.