Shortcut Aficionado Gifts

'Psst, I know a shortcut.'

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Hollywood producer.

"Great money scenes!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I think we could work very well together."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

Man taking a shortcut to centre of a maze

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'We're calling it... 'World war zit!''

'Whatever you do, don't push: 'control', 'alt;, 'anvil'.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Who's going to carve?"

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

"The story is stupid, the characters are unreliable and the senseless special effects will eat up millions. Well, I guess we've got a real blockbuster!"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

'You and your shortcuts.'

'A page from Sylvester Stallone's newest film script.'

"Your script is fresh, imaginative, innovative, and groundbreaking. Now all you need to do is tweak it into a version of a proven blockbuster or an old TV sitcom and we'd love to green-light it."

Dog asks 'so what did they do to you?'

"Look, darling, I've recorded your favourite meal."

'Brilliant... 'Slumlord Billionaire'!'

A man irons one of his pant legs.

"Why don't we save both of us a lot of trouble and just use the math app on my smartphone?"

'It seems silly to me, too, but there's a local ordinance against handguns.'