Culinary Shortcut Enthusiast Gifts

"Look, darling, I've recorded your favourite meal."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Baker Romance

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

The Perfect Foil

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Feast

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Cookery Lesson.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

The perfect man

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'