Shop Talker Gifts

'All these conferences look the same.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"Everything's gone up."

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

Orderly Conduct of Sales

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'You wished to see the house red?'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

Discount Shopping.

"Our trade deficit is at an all-time high, and you order English muffins?"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'I know you are, but what am I?'

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

"Of course it's improved. Check out the quality of the packaging graphics."

Oh, ho ... Here comes that boring guy!

''Wait till they've gone, then quietly clean the windows', I said - But you won't be told!'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."