Shop Talk Lover Gifts

''Sorry, we get no demand for it'- if I've said that once today, I've said it a hundred times!'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

'All these conferences look the same.'

'Notice how business is up 200% since putting up that sign.'

'Didn't I tell you? We've decided to go public?'

Customer Service - I don't know and I don't care.

SAGE (unknown model)

Eulogy: I shopped Til I Dropped

Ladies Lingerie.

"Remember when all this was free?"

'He certainly knows how to make a customer feel welcome.'

'We don't call it 'plus size' anymore, we call it 'extra fun'.'

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

Razor Salesman

"If it's any consolation, spending all that money shopping made me feel a lot better."

Does my bank account look big in this?

'Don't just sit there-there's an articulated lorry wants unloading outside!'

'I have this--wow! I must have THIS couch--deep seated envy complex...'

'Business is so bad even the shoplifters have stopped coming.'

Pop-up shop...

Store O' Stuff - In Your Face Since 1983

You spend all day comparison shopping, and you end up with THIS stuff?

The Corner Shop.

'If you're going shopping, collect some taxes on the way back.'