Shop Talk Aficionado Gifts

'In order to maintain good customer service, make sure you let someone know if you are going to the restroom.'

Low-Tech Terminology

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Sale.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

Online Shopping.

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."