Shoe Shopping Humorists Gifts

"No matter what style the gentleman prefers, they will of course still make a squishing sound when wet."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"How much is the sign?"

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

Great moments in shopping

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

"That's Mrs. Bigfoot. I'll let you take her."

Fresh milk - Self service

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

"I think the sign says World's Greatest Chew Treat Store Ever!"

'Okay, Pete - same time next year?'

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

"Sorry, we don't have rental shoes in size 19."

no nonsense or ridiculous pantyhose.

'We can travel across the universe with lightspeed but we will never be able to find shoes on the internet that fits our size.'

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Market items.

"You really need to stop shoe shopping whenever you break up with someone."

"Jack, we're going to Target not Walmart. Lose the curlers."

'Lady, your 'just browsing' is costing me 23 security cameras and 3 floor detectives.'

'Oh, stop it, George! I hate this part of grocery shopping as much as you do.'

"I'm difficult to shop for. I wear a size extra medium."

'Anything to take those shoes off.'

Help! You've got me surrounded!

"No tropical fruit? It's enough to make a mango crazy!"

You've sold me two left shoes.

'This is the only way I can get him to come shopping with me...'