Shoe Store Humor Aficionado Gifts

"How are you fixed for sandals?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'How much would you take off for cash?'

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

"How much is the sign?"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

I'm sorry sir, store rules. No 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Great moments in shopping

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

"Do they make my feet look big?"

The 29p Shop

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

"That's Mrs. Bigfoot. I'll let you take her."

Fresh milk - Self service

'Had I'd known it would be such a long walk I wouldn't have worn heels.'

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

'Okay, Pete - same time next year?'

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

He doesn't look sorry!

'Oh no, we forgot to lock the safe!' 'What's the problem, we're both here aren't we?'

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Men's Clothing. Shirts. Sale. Yes, sir, one size does fit all, but it's not that size.

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

Market items.

'Other husbands at least PRETEND to show interest...'

A new Walmart store will be built on this site.

Complaints and Excuses.

'Lady, your 'just browsing' is costing me 23 security cameras and 3 floor detectives.'

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my old shoes."