Shoe Shop Assistant Pillows

'Do me a favour, your bunions alone are size nine.'

Three-legged lady in shoe shop

Size nine, please! Sir, your toes alone are size nine.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"This is daring, but I like it."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Would you like to try them out?"

Penguin suit fitting.

How would Madam like to pay?

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

We stock ALL sizes...

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'You'll find that these really let your feet breathe'