Shoe Shop Staff Pillows

'I can't believe it! You left my sight for only two minutes but managed to chew on three pairs!!'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Would you like to try them out?"

We stock ALL sizes...

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

"If you buy all three, we throw in the fourth boot for free."

"They're a little tight."

'He doesn't sell many dress shoes, but he leads the department in slipper sales.'

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

"I'm off to the cinema, darling, see you here later."

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

"I think the odour eaters have eaten my brie sandwiches!"

"Do you have this in a big-and-floppy?"

"Ahhh, you're in luck! You got our last 150 pairs in stock."

'Madam's wedgie runneth over.'

Italian Shoes.

'Do you have this style in a larger size?'

'You asked for a shoe horn.'

"Do you sell crocodile shoes?"

'I'm a 10 12.' - 'What, litres?'

'Do you have this shoe in size 34DD?'

'You know very well Simkins that we do NOT need to measure the lady's inside leg for boots!'

'Walter just retired after 37 years at the shoe store.'

'You're in luck. I think we have a pair of boots that size. I'll see if I can find them.'

Big Foot Locker

A Salesperson's Dilemma

"We've done it Larry! One hundred percent market share!"