Shoe Shop Assistant Gifts

'Do me a favour, your bunions alone are size nine.'

Three-legged lady in shoe shop

Size nine, please! Sir, your toes alone are size nine.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"This is daring, but I like it."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Penguin suit fitting.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"Would you like to try them out?"

How would Madam like to pay?

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

We stock ALL sizes...

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Shop assistant hands over 'eco' shopping bag, saying: 'Would you like a bag for that?'

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

All Major Cash Honored.

Sold It All.

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'