Shock Humor Fan Gifts

"You tell me if the roast beef is fresh."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Faster, Georges, faster!

The Rooster Comedian.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Pastry Hat

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

Trump Poutine

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Dynamite little combo

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'