Explosive Humor Fan Gifts

Old McDonald HAD a farm.

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

Arch enemy.

Dynamite little combo

I brake for EVERYTHING.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"Fish finder."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"I suppose you think that's funny."

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

The bird feeder.

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"So! When's the big day?"

"Buster, run this past legal."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'