Shelter-in-place Socialite Gifts

"So what books didn't you get around to reading during lockdown?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Church Basement Foodie

Children's Party

"The club scene is really changing."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'