Shell Surfers Gifts

Man listens to shell by the ocean and hears options to download ocean sounds from an online store.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Multi-Generational Books

"I don't do windows."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Jimi Hendrix.

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

Internet Restaurant

"That's his answer to everything!"

"This is it? No video?"

Rock & Roll

Turtle Home

"Rehearsal's off! Our first violinist was apprehended early this morning poaching clams in Great South Bay! The authorities have confiscated her rake and long tongs!"

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

Life Extension Journal.

"Are you willing to relocate?"

"Pura vida!" "Look out for the riptide..."

I can be upgraded, can you?

'Yeah, well I'm sick of being so danged happy all the time.'

"I've been evicted."

Didgeridoos

"That's way out of my price range..."

"No, I don't recycle."

'It's always so sad when they repossess.'

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

I can't decide if this is a self-improvement project or a home improvement project.

"Shelling doesn't get much better than this, Helen."