Sheep Gifts

'It's strange, but ever since that star appeared I've had this overwhelming urge to go shopping.'

'That one's dyslexic.'

Information: EWE ARE HERE.

Where steel wool comes from.

"I had my coat made into a sweater."

'Just a trim or the usual three bags full?'

"Hey, is that a wool blanket?!"

'I'm warning you, don't come any closer! I'm fully charged with static electricity!'

'Insomniacs wanted for sheep census...'

"She's a black faced Suffolk, but I call her Stephanie."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

'I don't know how they got up there either.'

Baa Baa Black Market

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

'I do wish she wouldn't be such a human.'

Sheep Road Block

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

"Static cling."

Man dreams of sheep escaping from farm.

'That's all you care? The first time you see me sheared you want out?'

Shepard and sheep on toop of sky scaper

A cow ventriloquist.

'Well so much for counting on him to lead the insurrection.'

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

"I hate my new job: The flock has two rather troublesome blacksheep..."

"I was too hot, and seeing you guys got me thinking..."

Sheepdog Security

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

'You don't know what a treat it is for me to run into you!'

Fleeces for sale

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

We are all one

"I dunno how many sheep I've got. When I try to count 'em I fall asleep..!"