Shaving Connoisseur Pillows

'Dear? I put a nice new blade in that old razor of yours, did you notice?'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Drunk Barber

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'Honey, these split ends look terrible! What kind of shampoo have you been using?'

A grave with an array of beauty products

Axes 'R' Us Store

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

Chris knew what looked good and always kept his hair short on the sides and longer on top.

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

"Why don't you stop by and stray for awhile."