Shaving Connoisseur Pillows

'Dear? I put a nice new blade in that old razor of yours, did you notice?'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Drunk Barber

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

'Honey, these split ends look terrible! What kind of shampoo have you been using?'

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Your shampoo delivery is here!"

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'Doctor, I asked for BOTOX injections, not BUTTOCKS injections.'

New You Plastic Surgery. That's right, doctor, I gave her the bill and her nose went right out of joint again.

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

A grave with an array of beauty products

Chris knew what looked good and always kept his hair short on the sides and longer on top.

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Axes 'R' Us Store

"Yes, it was tested on rabbits and they simply adored it."

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!