Cosmetics Connoisseur Pillows

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Easy on the cosmetics, dear. Use just enough so people say, 'See, you don't need makeup!'"

"Too much concealer?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"She's had a lot of work done."

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"