Coiffure Connoisseur Pillows

Surfing the Coif

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'How does this one feel?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

'Botox so soon, Master?'

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

A Woman's Conquests.

Today's Rapunzel