Coiffure Connoisseur Gifts

Surfing the Coif

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Too much concealer?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'How does this one feel?'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

Today's Rapunzel

'And don't shrink it in a hot wash.'

A Woman's Conquests.