Sex Ed Surfers Gifts

"Your mother tells me she caught you paying for porn and I'm very disappointed in you. . ."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"You are here."

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

Before birds and bees,

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

The Joy of Sioux

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

Sex education, Mrs Griffey...Be responsible! Don't foolow in your parents footsteps!

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

'Just think, our first wave as husband and wife.'

Tele Condom

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'