Sex Ed Surfers Pillows

"Your mother tells me she caught you paying for porn and I'm very disappointed in you. . ."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"There's no such thing as free wi-fi."

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"You are here."

Before birds and bees,

The Joy of Sioux

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Just think, our first wave as husband and wife.'

Tele Condom

Sex education, Mrs Griffey...Be responsible! Don't foolow in your parents footsteps!

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'