Sex Educators Gifts

'Boy! -- What'll they think of next?'

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"You are here."

"It was time you learned."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

The Joy of Sioux

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

AIDS prevention

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

Department of Gender Studies

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

WC.