Sex Education Teacher Gifts

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Sex Education

"You are here."

Sex education: 'The stork version is a lot less complicated.'

'Boy! -- What'll they think of next?'

'Birds and bears, bulls and bees- I can't keep it all straight'

"The school has a very liberal attitude towards sex education."

'Wait a minute. How do we know this isn't x-rated?'

'As a matter of fact, my sex ed teacher was also my guidance counselor.'

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

Adult Education

"It was time you learned."

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

'Oh, no, those aren't the kid's drawings. Dave is taking adult education art class.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

AIDS prevention

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

The Joy of Sioux

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"