Sexual Educator Gifts

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

"It was time you learned."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"You are here."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

The Joy of Sioux

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

AIDS prevention

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

Department of Gender Studies

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

WC.

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'