Sexual Education Gifts

Family Planning: Contraceptives Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion!

'Tell me about the birds, Forget about the bees,'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Sex Education

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"You are here."

"It was time you learned."

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

The Joy of Sioux

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

AIDS prevention

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

Department of Gender Studies

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'