Sex Education Enthusiast Gifts

'So basically, the bee tries to get the bird drunk. And then...'

"Dad, what happens if a condom breaks?"

"Please Miss, are the 'birds and the bees' polyamorous?"

"How are we going to explain this?"

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

The Joy of 'Six'

"Gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, HIV positive, genital warts..."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"You are here."

"It was time you learned."

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

The Joy of Sioux

AIDS prevention

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'