Sex Education Gifts

Condom-Man to the rescue!

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'

"I found a porno movie in your drawer. I guess that means you're curious about sex."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'We're studying child birth in sex education. On my birthday I think YOU should get the gifts.'

'My parents get really embarrassed when it comes to talking about sexually transmitted diseases...'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'Dad, is it okay to laugh during sex?' - 'Yes, just don't point.'

'What I really wanted to ask her was does a lady offer a gentlemen a condom?'

'The Age - Morality Gap'

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"Do you want to tell him or would you rather he learns about pollinating from his friends?"

"Listen son, I think it's time you learned about the slaps and the tickles."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

'What's oriole sex'

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"It was time you learned."

"You are here."

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

The Joy of Sioux

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"