Safe Sex Education Gifts

Promote the use of condoms.

"...and for you, Dorothy, that I.U.D. you've been wanting."

'Lisa! Mrs O'Brien said that Spot just got fixed. So now it's ok for you to sleep over there anytime you want!'

Flavius becomes embarrassed on ordering a pack of Trojans.

Condom discussion

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

WHO checklist

New arrival

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'What's oriole sex'

"What's a condom for?"

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"You are here."

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

'. . . You seem to have a strange obsession with shyness and safe sex. . .'

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

Cautious photojournalist.

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

The Joy of Sioux

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"