Sex Education Instructor Gifts

'The Age - Morality Gap'

"Maybe she can explain about Bruce Jenner."

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

Sex Education

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

'What's oriole sex'

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"It was time you learned."

"You are here."

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

AIDS prevention

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

The Joy of Sioux

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"You're old enough to know son. . . you were pulled out of a hat."

Department of Gender Studies

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'