Serving Prison Sentence Gifts

'Yeah, but look at the money we saved by your acting as your own attorney.'

"You'll have to be both mother and father to the kids while I'm not there to give them guidance."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Freedom Book.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

Prison Romance.

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Prisoner Crossing

Police Lineup Escape

Exhibition for Prisoners

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

Exposed and imprisoned.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Escape?...Why?'

Prisoner Trump

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'