Service Survivor Gifts

Patience Tested While You Wait.

Service Area.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Getting through the week.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"