Service Survivor Gifts

Patience Tested While You Wait.

Service Area.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Office Weather

Getting through the week.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Ed Pierce is here to see you sir, and remember, it's unprofessional to roll your eyes."

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'