Serial Saver Gifts

'Transfer every penny from my joint account to a safe deposit box until Thursday when the sales finish!'

"So much for password protected."

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

'Who ordered 10,000 copies of how to conserve paper?'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

Cash Rebate

Don't Let Your Computer Eat You Up!

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Save money on the web.

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"I'd look up from my phone for you!"

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

'Another dead squirrel, Lieutenant! What kind of Madman are we dealing with?'

Screen Addict

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

'Removing the phone is easy. Getting your head and arms to their original positions will take weeks of physical therapy.'

'hello dear, I just got my new office and i think they're trying to tell me something.'

'A decade ago, who could have envisioned beds on the wall?'

TV versus Books