Serial Caller Gifts

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

TV-Man

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"Long time no see, Mr. Jimmy. I understand congratulations are in order on your recent engagement, wedding and divorce."

Bummer Time Streaming

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

You finished Netflix

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"They went together, doctor!"

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"I thought you gave up TV."

New TV Season...Dopey man watching new TV shows

"Mom! You and dad won't believe this, but right now I'm watching two flies making out on top of a can of soda!!" Dan was really lonely.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

Mavis didn't realise she was still on hold. . . !

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

"No, I'm really into this series. I am just not into you making a very poor attempt at copying their British accent every waking minute until we finish it."