Serial Watcher Gifts

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

I just binge-watched a whole series on doing things in moderation.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"I thought you gave up TV."

New TV Season...Dopey man watching new TV shows

"I'm not sure. He either disappeared during 'Days Of Our Lives' or 'General Hospital'."

"They don't call them reruns anymore... they call them déjà-views."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"A full moon! It's like Mother Nature turning on a night light!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Tree house.

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

"#notguilty."

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

It's a Dog's life

While doing routine recon over the pacific ocean, lietenants Cromwell and Olsen make a startling discovery.

"It beats flying for your food."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!