Show Watcher Gifts

"I only watch it to see if the last dress he bought me is worth anything."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Fishermen

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Och lye the news'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"He's an indoor cat."

Couch and Potato

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'