Award Show Watcher Gifts

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Djargo.

Celebrities think taxi drivers are the public.

Kylie Minogue.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Tree house.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

May I have the envelope, please?

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Barbie Oscars

Oscars acceptance speech.

It's a Dog's life

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'