Award Show Enthusiast Gifts

Oscars acceptance speech.

"OK darling think gracious ... you don't care that you didn't win ...it's beneath you ... and keep clapping ..."

'Hello and welcome to the stupidly hyperbolic awards.'

"..And the best product placement in a film award goes to..."

'Sis will be right down...she's upstairs working on her acceptance speech.'

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

The gladiator raises his blood-stained sword...but the nimble ninja strikes quickly, winning the battle...and taking home the award!"

"I think I just won Best Director!"

"For the best picture having not won anything, thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Ricky Gervais.

Sandra Bullock

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

'...And the award for the most 'talk to the hands' in one show goes to...'

'I told you it was a mistake not to award anything to Rambo'

Country Hits

The plumbers awards

Nicole Kidman

Time now for the 2013 political oscars...

'And the coolest dad of the year award goes to... Dr. Armstrong for his note, 'to whom it may concern, my son is allergic to homework'.'

'Oh my gosh, I never even knew that there was an award for 'worst drama'! Thank you! Thank you!'

Wonderland Movie Awards. Tonight's award show was very exciting, and now it's time for the after-party. The Seven Dwarves are here -- they were tonight's winner for "Best Short." There's the frog who turned into a prince. He's the "Best Adaptation" winner. And here comes the Pied Piper, who took the trophy for "Best Performance by a Leading Man"! The Big Bad Wolf hosted tonight's show and is getting rave reviews -- he blew away the audience! His performance was cheered wildly. He brought

Universal Movie Awards. We've seen celebrities from the biggest starts to the brilliant meteorites arriving here at the Universal Movie Awards. There's a moon who is up for a supporting role award, and the Perseid meteor shower, which is nominated for special effects. And there's Mars, blending right into the red carpet. They all better hurry inside and take their seats. The show is about to start with the Best Picture Award. They're starting with the Best Picture Award? Of course! Out h

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I'm not going to sit here and make fun of the very people I'm wasting my time watching."

"This is so unexpected – I didn't even prepare a speech."

Showbiz Awards

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Soccer coach of the year.