Award Ceremony Enthusiast Gifts

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Accountancy Awards - Juggler of the year award

'I'll be glad when the lawyer awards are over...'

Base chapel.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Soccer coach of the year.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Jungle Games

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Oscars 2024

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

Geoffrey Rush

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Norman E-Mailer

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'