Awards Ceremony Aficionado Gifts

And the Oscar goes to...

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Soccer coach of the year.

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Jungle Games

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Oscars 2024

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Barbie Oscars

Geoffrey Rush

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Norman E-Mailer

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."