Award Enthusiast Gifts

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.

"......And finally I'd like to thank my 5 brothers, 4 sisters, 3 uncles, 2 aunts, 23 nephews and nieces and 37 cousins."

'I'll covet this trophy right up to the time I sell it to met my payroll.'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'In 20 years our research department has won only one award, and that was from the American Fertilizer Association.'

'Is somebody here implying that I was not really sick?' (Best Actor award on his desk.)

'Do we have to go through this every month Stan? We both know I'm your only employee.'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Thanks to Obama the Nobel Prize has lost much of its prestige. This is the third time I got one in my surprise meal this week.'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'I know - You nominate me for a Nobel Prize, and I'll nominate YOU!'

An Inconcievable, Inexcusable, Incomprehensible Truth.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

"I won an award from my club! I'm the only member who doesn't owe membership dues."

"Today our teacher gave everyone lifetime achievement awards."

"I'll keep this short as I know many of you are eager to hit that dumpster out back."

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

Heath & Safety Executive employee of the month.

'I declare this envelope...open!'

'You can't fake emotion like that.'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'I didn't get re-elected, but I won an Emmy for my campaign promises!'

'I love it but I think I aged five years while earning it.'

Sock Salesman Award

'And for sticking the most pins in a single shirt, the winner is...'

B2B Mag of the Year - Legal Week. 'I'm going to appeal!'

'In a surprise move today, the members of the Nobel Committee awarded all of this year's Nobel Prizes to each other.'

Horse receiving award:'I'd like to thank the academy'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

'How many merit badges do you have?'

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

I've checked sir, but there doesn't seem to be a Nobel Prize for banking.

Medals on soldier and his desk

Pig of the Year...