Award Show Watcher Pillows

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Djargo.

Celebrities think taxi drivers are the public.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Tree house.

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Och lye the news'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

May I have the envelope, please?

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'