Award Show Lover Pillows

"And now, honorary awards for the worst best-picture and the best worst-picture."

Oscars

Trial by Media

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Soccer coach of the year.

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

Menopause and the City

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Oscars acceptance speech.

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

Clownton Abbey

The Academy began to regret awarding the Oscar to Destructo.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!