Talent Show Lover Pillows

Britain's Got Knives: 'Thank you...Next!'

Trial by Media

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I'm a star!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Oscars

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

Magic Accident

Magician creates magic square

The Ox Factor

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'That should be an easy act to follow.'