Talent Show Aficionado Pillows

"So you think you can cobble!"

'Aha! You are addicted to American Idol. You have the voting numbers on speed dial.'

Simon Cowell

"We've invested heavily - If not always wisely - In talent."

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Eh... thank you Mister eh... Genghis. Quite a novel approach to plate spinning

'You look and sound like a real pro.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Dancing with the Stars

Simon Cowell caricature.

Eh... yes Mister eh... Genghis. Can I just ask where did you get your boots?

'Hey, you've got it!'

The Ox Factor

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

The real trick here for Ramon was to somehow just make this look as if it's all part of the show...

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Dr Moo and the Cyber-Cows!

"Lenders are a lot more cautious about 'interest free' mortgages these days. "

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I want to thank all the little people."

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

Executives are evaluated in Dancing With The Stars style.

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

Banana striptease...

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

Mrs. Jarley at the pay-place

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'